Monday, December 22, 2008

My Holiday Wish

The curtain rises on the keynote of the very last Apple-sanctioned Macworld trade show. The geekish press is at capacity, but there's none of the excitement and anticipation that usually attends a Steve Jobs presentation. No, on this day, the tech journos are unabashedly surly and churlish. That is, they are in normal mode. They are here to watch a gorgeous machine explode. And while they usually enjoy seeing a multi-billion-dollar crash, this gives them no real pleasure. Because without Apple? There's nothing truly cool to cover, and they go back to being plain, old geeks.

Phil Schiller, an otherwise gentle fellow whose lack of style and anti-charisma have earned him the moniker "The Anti-Jobs," takes the stage. He starts talking-a grim wisecrack alluding to his unlikely place in the spotlight today-and the Moscone Center fairly rattles from the clickety-clack of keyboards, as bloggers live blog their disappointment. They cannot idolize a guy who is as dumpy as they are. Perhaps they can find a job selling shoes somewhere...

Schiller does the usual industry keynote thing, recounting the sensational year Apple has had. The attendees applaud the accomplishments as he ticks each milestone off: The iPod business was unbelievably solid at the holidays. New Macbook sales were through the roof. And more than 10 million iPhones were sold in 2008. Restrained applause. Someone Twitters that Apple stock is already down 1%.

Then he unveils Apple's new desktops, which are sleeker and more powerful than last years, and a new Mini, which, through some clever hacks, is designed to replace the Apple TV. While this last bit appears to be the "big news" by now, the bloggertariot is showing its contempt, elbowing and pinching each other like kids on an interminable car trip. Some are even folding up their laptops so they can beat the rush to the parking garage. Apple stock is now down nearly 2%.

"Oh yes," says, Schiller, coining the catch phrase that will be his: "I almost forgot!" And the curtains part. And Schiller walks over to a small steel table at center stage where he removes a cloth covering a shiny aluminum object that sits there like a souvenir from the future. And gently, he lifts it up, as if to inspect it for the first time. It is rectilinear, thin as an iPhone and roughly the size of a sheet of legal paper. "I really think this is the coolest thing we've ever built at Apple," Schiller says.

It is the long-awaited Apple tablet, only it is, of course, much cooler than any tablet anyone has ever seen. "It's designed for reading" (as Schiller says this, Amazon's stock drops $2 faster than a rocket jettisons a spent booster) "but you can also work on it." He demonstrates. The Apple Sliver's screen is a touchscreen, like a big iPhone. But, it actually opens up, like a laptop! It has a keyboard and a second screen inside. It seems crazy but looks so cool, some of the bloggers are actually hyperventilating and some of the Apple dudes in their black T-shirts are running around with defibrillators, just in case.

The newest addition to the iTunes Store is the Newsstand, which will sell periodicals ranging from the New York Times to TIME. (Of course!) You can also subscribe to blogs and anything else with a URL. The Store will handle the micropayments, of course, and Apple will take a third, as per usual. (Oh, come on! Surely you didn't think the free ride would last forever? Once you get this bright and shiny device, you'll want to load it with premium content, so cheap at 99 cents a month! Think of a great magazine like a song and suddenly the tiny economics makes sense.) Apple stock has now risen 20%, the stocks of publishing companies surge 12% across the board.

Schiller wraps it up but before he does, gives a shout out to his friend and mentor, the co-founder of Apple Computer and the man who single-handedly bailed out the media business-that is, music, TV, movies and now journalism. The spotlight finds Steven P. Jobs, who rises out of his seat, healthy as a ram, and he waves. And we all live a better life because we get to keep our jobs.

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